There are times when I fail to lead. I acquiesce to my sub/wife's desires or inclinations due to a lack of direction on my part which ends up ultimately frustrating us both. She craves a framework and direction from me as well as my focused planning and attention. When I default to my "just go with it" mentality she gets frustrated and becomes less in tune with who and what I want her / us to be.
There is a part of me that could so easily be a switch and enjoy submitting to a loving domme. However, my lovely bride is not terribly dominating. She can do a lovely scene once in a while, but her default position is one of obedience and submission. When I focus on my dominating side and fully get into that headspace, I love the dynamic we share. She is such a WONDERFUL sub when I am domming that it creates a powerful feedback loop between us.
The onus is on me therefore to slip into my role more often than not. She is willing to return to what we had in the past and has so very accurately described the lack in our relationship due to our "lost" dynamic.
She started her blog last night and intends to continue to use it to remain focused on her side of the D/s lifestyle that we both thrive in. I am using her initiative to act as a kick in my pants to go back to being her loving Dom in addition to the loving husband I already was. We will both be better for it.
Personally (I can only speak from a sub's point of view), I think that being a Dominant is not easy. imho, It's not easy to be in the lead and no one is Dominant at all times. It's just part of life and being human.
ReplyDeleteGood luck getting the dynamic back on track!